How To Move Forward When You Feel Stuck

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by Chris Rea

I remember the very first time I really felt stuck.  I was in 4th grade math class and multiplying fractions became my nemesis.

I remember the teacher thoroughly explaining it to us. And I remember trying really hard to pay attention and understand, but I didn’t.  For me, anything other than basic math did not come naturally.  That day in math class our teacher assigned us homework that included over 30 of these math problems. I thought my 9 year old life was over.  She gave us some time during class to do it, and I watched in awe as all of my classmates motored through without so much as a hand raise. 

#Proof.

Not only did they seem to understand the homework, but they appeared to be enjoying solving these problems as well. What was wrong with them! …What was wrong, with me?

I didn’t want to look stupid so, of course, I didn’t ask anyone for help. I just starred down looking at this first problem and tried to understand what I was supposed to do next.

I couldn’t get it.  After school, I brought the homework home and explained to my parents that I just didn’t understand how to multiply these fractions… I mean why did they need to be multiplied in the first place right?  Why couldn’t they just be content being by themselves?  Why are fractions so needy!?

My Mom and Dad looked the book over, and then explained to me how to do these problems… again.  They said, “don’t worry, you’ll get it.”  And we proceeded to do the first problem together.  After a thorough explanation they asked me if I understood. “I think so,” I said, but I didn’t.  I asked if they could do all of them with me and they said “no, you need to learn how to do this on your own”   So I headed to my room and started working on the second math problem and the feeling came right back to me…the feeling of being Stuck.

This time, I didn’t just feel stuck, I felt stupid and worthless because I still didn’t get it!  I mean my teacher explained it to me, all of my classmates understood it, my parents understood it, but I still didn’t get it!

Have you ever felt like that?  Have you ever felt like everyone in the world is thriving in a certain area of life, but you feel like you’re drowning in quicksand? No matter what you try or do you simply can’t move forward. There’s no momentum. You’re stuck in a rut.  Friend, I have BEEN THERE!

But, let’s circle back around to my story for a minute. I went to my parents and told them I still didn’t understand this crazy math assignment.  So, they explained it to me again, we did a problem together again and I went back to my room AGAIN to finish the rest on my own.  Guess what… I still didn’t get it.

This time I was thinking about giving up completely and just not doing the rest of my homework.  However, I knew that would never fly in my house because my parents checked my homework every night before bed.

That night, that crazy multiplying fractions night, I went back out to my parents probably 4 or 5 times. 4 or 5 times of explanations, bartering, pleading and complaining. I was literally about to throw in the towel on this whole multiplying thing. And then… the light bulb went off. Amidst all off the frustration, a moment of clarity emerged and I, 9 year old Chris Rea, understood how to multiply fractions!  That moment my mindset changed from defeated to victorious.  That moment I became unstuck!

I got it!  I understood!  I went to my room and did every one of those problems with a spring in my step and with a smile on my face!  Once I understood it, I actually really enjoyed it.

#AgainWithTheProof…AndAwesome80’sPants

Isn’t crazy how you can feel stuck, small, insignificant one moment and then the light bulb goes off and you feel like you can conquer the world the next! And you don’t even need awesome 80’s pants to do it.

I want to tell you today, if you feel stuck, if you feel dumb, if you feel small or insignificant, you are just one light bulb moment away, one crucial mindset away, from conquering the world.

If we’re going to overcome feeling stuck in this life, there are several crucial things we must decide to do:

1.  Ask for Help

Many of us are so afraid of what other people will think that we never ask for help.  Pride is no joke and its grip can keep us from fulfilling our destinies.  But let me let you in on a secret. No one has it 100% together 100% percent of the time. So don’t try and be a “know it all,” or pretend you have it all together.  You’ll only end up hurting yourself.  Seek out answers from people who have struggled with the same things you have.  Ask someone for help, educate yourself, get advice from a pastor, counselor or mentor. Invest some time and resources into finding answers.  And if you have a hard time doing that, just think about how much time and money we spend on things that, in the end, don’t matter.  Be ok with investing into future you.

2.  Create A vision

Ask yourself a question, “What could my future look like?” Not currently, if nothing ever changes, but a future un-tethered by all the baggage and destructive mindsets we pick up along our way.  What could THAT version of you look like?
In order to get there, we need to create a compelling picture of the future in the crucial ares of our lives.  Areas like our careers, our spiritual lives, our relationships, our finances, our health, and our emotions.  If we could see a vision in our minds of what the future could look like- if we were thriving in each of these areas, that would be our light bulb moment.  The moment where we stopped starring at the problem and started realizing how to solve it.  Vision gives way to that true moment of clarity each of us needs in order to stop merely existing and start living life to the full.

I had that moment of clarity when I understood how to multiply fractions.  All I could see was this big problem that I didn’t know how to solve; a problem that everyone else seemed to have a handle on.  But when I finally had that moment of clarity, I was overcome with self-confidence and I wanted to tackle every problem and challenge that I could get my hands on.

That transformed mindset comes in a moment of clarity when we come to realize that our Lives our Not Small-that our vision and our dreams are attainable!  If we are willing to persevere through the pain, persevere through the “quick sand” of doubt and fear, we’ll find the answer.

I have to warn you though, the moment of clarity and vision is the easy part.  I know. I get it. Hang in there. Rolling up your sleeves, making plans, and persevering with passion toward your dream, that’s the difficult part. BUT that’s also where all the good stuff lives.

You see, after I had the moment of clarity with my math homework, I still had to work hard to finish that math assignment.  I still had to study for tests and then take on a whole new set of math challenges a couple of months later.

Anything that is worth doing in life is going to be hard.  Just when you feel like you have clarity you may find yourself stuck again.  That’s when you have to be willing to renew your mind, dig in, and continue to work.

There are a couple other key choices we need to make if we are going to overcome feeling stuck in this life.  We’re sharing them with you right now, simply click below to download our FREE eBook “Unstuck.”

What area of life could you use a little momentum in?

Until Next Time,

Chris

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