Who’s Getting the BEST Version of You?

I’m a firm believer that the people closest to us should receive the best version of us.

And because you’re an amazing human, I’m sure you agree.

But WHY is that concept so much easier in theory rather than practice? It’s easy to be charming to the Starbucks Barista you may never see again. Maintaining that same level of “love” and charisma for the people that live in your house however, is a different challenge entirely.

That bugs me.

Misplaced priorities can make our lives small in a hurry can’t they?  Over the years, we’ve witnesses many relationships completely implode because the external pressures became stronger than substance of the relationship at its core.

Projecting a polished image to other people became more important than investing into their people.

It’s easy to get tangled in how we feel we’re perceived by strangers in our world.  It’s easy to be quip-y and cute across the internet. And it’s way too easy to get preoccupied, sometimes completely unconsciously, in a world that doesn’t really know us or have to capacity to love us back; a world that merely tells us how we can be better and pats us on the back for all of 2 seconds when we do so.

With all my heart, I want to love people well. I want to reach people with the gospel. When it’s all said and done, my prayer for me and my prayer for you is this:

That we were a walking demonstration of the love of God, people who effectively used the gifts that He gave us, what’s in our hand, to advance the gospel, bring change to this world, and celebrate the life He’s so generously given us.

But, something I’m reminded of lately is this: it’s got to be an inside job first.

When I was in Bible College, our University President quoted 1 verse every time he spoke. He preached on a variety of topics of course, but he always seemed to shoehorn one verse into each and every message. One little verse. Every. Single. Time. The verse?

Say it with me all you NCU alumni, Acts 1:8. “…you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” ( It stuck Dr. Anderson. It stuck.)

Essentially, Jesus’ final words here on earth to His disciples were that the gospel, needed to advance from the inside out; to be concentrated at home base and be dispensed out from there.

I’ve had a word picture rolling around in my mind that I just can’t shake. It’s a word picture of what’s called, “the ripple effect.”

When you launch a stone into the water, the ripples are strongest at the core and then disperse out from there. The impact of that stone can and will be long, but the highest concentration of it’s impact is the ripple that is closest to the source.

In fact, most of the time, the larger that initial “ripple” the farther the reach of the impact of that stone.

Turn your eyes inward for a minute.  If you’re No Small Life is that stone, being plopped into place by a loving God, could it be that He wants the biggest recipients of the best of you to be the people closest to you?  Many times, we think our gifts and “calling” are only for the world around us. And while you’ve been made for far reaching impact, maybe…just MAYBE, your people, should be the biggest benefactors of the best parts of you-your gifts, your talents, your love and then let it ripple out from there.

Who knows, God in His sovereignty might have knit you into relationships with the people to whom your gifts will have the greatest impact.

If your priorities have gotten tangled, let’s do a couple things. First, take a deep breath, and hear Chris & I say, “us too.” We’ve been there. I wouldn’t have a leg to stand on unless I’ve walked the road first, be it 20 steps or one.  So thankfully, we know what it takes to climb out of that place.

There’s 4 actions we can all take today to help us get our priorities straightened back out again; making sure the people closest to us are getting the best of us.

1. Stay in the present:

We rob our present moments when we mentally rehash the past or allow worry to pole vault us into an unknown future.  I’m a planner by nature and when that’s your bent, it’s so easy to let your brain live in future mode. There’s nothing wrong with planning, as long as you can shut your cute planner and live in the here and now.  Fight the FOMO that tells you that what’s happening “out there” is better that what’s happening “in here.”

Bring your thoughts and your whole self into your present moment. Do something that engages your 5 senses. (Here’s a few ideas.) Let yourself feel the reality of what’s happening now. Let the peace and grace available to you right now settle all the other voices down. Don’t allow the planning of tomorrow to rob you of the beauty of today. (preacher-choir ;))

2. Decide on your boundaries together:

Tell your people you want to be more present when you’re with them; you want them to get the best parts of you. Then, decide on your boundaries together.  When will you plan to be together during the week with no distractions? Will cell phone’s be in another room at meal times? (Check out last week’s post for lots of help with the Smartphones.)Will laptops be shut at a certain time? There’s no hard and fast rules here. Taylor make this to what works for your lives. And then…

3. Write them down to keep them a priority:

Maybe it’s the visual learner in me, but if I’m going to remember to stick with something, it’s got to be written down. Period. You can post it, frame it, stitch it on a pillow if you have to, just keep it in front of yo’ eyes.  Visual reminders are always good accountability. Because at the end of your days, success isn’t just what you’ve accomplished.

Success is the person you’ve become and the individual lives you’ve impacted in the process.

4. Make a plan to use your gifts for your people:

You’re wired the way you are on purpose. The people in your life are there also on purpose. So how can you use your gifts to impact them?  Brainstorm a bit and then literally put it on your to-do list. Again with the visual. Hey man, it’s how we remember all the things! Chris is REALLY good at this. He even has a sneaky way of keeping track of all the things to bless his people. Want his secret? Click the image below

Your No Small Life is like a stone friend; a stone which contains potential to have a massive impact and reach. But to steal a line from the word…and a TobyMac song, “I don’t want to gain the whole world and lose my soul.”  Let’s stay confident that God knew what He was doing when he placed the people into our lives that He did.  He believes in your impact and so do we. Don’t short change the people you love and who know the truest most unpolished version of yourself. You’ll never regret giving them your best.

How can you use your gifts to impact your people this week?

Until next time,

Meg

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